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we've got dreams to remember

destiny siblings,

i write to you from deep inside of a daydream bubble scented by jasmine and orange blossoms, moving water and moss laced rock, and spring’s ephemeral pollen dancing in the wind. in reality and in my body, us in the northern hemisphere are still deeply locked in the arms of late winter, and still far from the scents, taste, and feels of spring.

on a personal level, winter brought me face to face with a second wave of covid feels, one i wasn't expecting but immediately understood as moving grief- in it's wild, uninvited, non linear form. the grief that carries sudden change, death, isolation, and sadness. eco grief, once silent yet also buzzing within the quiet parts of my body. so i was forced to surf this wave in fear. in fear of a powerful unknown undercurrent, the loss of my north star, and of unwelcome transformation. i'm still surfing (and i'm from ny, so literally have no idea how to lol), and have so many questions for the life i am tiptoeing into. but in that new imagined world i am growing food and medicine with my kin and singing to mourn and breathe and calm the sea storms within.

anyway, for any of you also surfing the covid grief wave, here are some light hearted gems that have been personal life preservers for me when i'm way out in the eye of the storm, hope they bring you comfort <3

~sense8...honestly i don't even know where to begin with this one. this show has been so many different things for me. i can't even count how many times i've watched it but it's part security blanket, part fantasy pod goals, part epic orgy matrix reloaded, part everything. lido. omg seriously just watch it and then deep dive into the drama on how netflix cancelled the show after season 2 ending on a cliff hanger but then (we the fans!!) protested so hard that they actually filmed a *2hr special* ending for us.

~bad bunny. okay okay okay, i know i'm mad late in the game to say this out loud but bad bunny is the literal fucking cutest and i have the biggest crush on him. his album El Último Tour Del Mundo, which he recorded during quar is on repeat right now. and the final caress for my love came when he pretended to be a plant on snl, serenading us to listen to the plants for our mental health. so i’m just fully committed. ~make believe medicine. here in my house we've gone deep into our make believe play. every night it's different… sometimes we play casino (think 007 spy realness for the mood, where we get dressed up in our finest bond wear, play carioca, drink mocktails with lemon juice and bitters, and sing karaoke. it gets lit. sometimes we play spa and make masks and chill in the bathroom. sometimes we play movie theater (we bought a cheap projector during covid and movie style candy, and really this has been one of the biggest potions for my covid blues) and make tickets and do it legit with with a pretend concession and box office lol. all this tmi to say, there really are endless ways to play pretend, to shape shift into a new place, experience, and time. how are you all tickling your fantasy world?

~i've been beading , just having fun with slow craft, black tea, in bed, experimenting with color and playing with some of my favorite essences; fuschia flower essence, datura essence, poison ivy essence, rosy maple moth environmental essence and gaywings flower essence. it feels really playful and wistful to enter into this precious fairy realm.

~i could go on but lastly, i've been taking a moment with madonna's holiday as a daily practice. like i get that this song is way heavy on the optimism, and the apocalyptic reality we are facing, and in no ways am am i supporting disassociating from the important work we need to bust out collectively, i am all about taking respites out of reality as a tool for the sanctity of my mental health. anyway, sometimes we meet in the shower, or dance it out in the living room with my kid, but no matter what i surrender to this spell daily to keep me pacified for a future world exhale of pleasure and rejoice.

“If we took a holiday, took some time to celebrate, just one day out of life, it would be, it would be so nice. everybody spread the word, we're gonna have a celebration. all across the world, in every nation. it's time for the good times. forget about the bad times, oh, yeah. one day to come together to release the pressure. we need a holiday.”

i hope you're all finding new realities to tip toe into and get to know.

love, kisses and honey drops, mandana <3


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